
Unbelievable Linton Getaway: Cobblestone Inn & Suites Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the gloriously messy world of the Unbelievable Linton Getaway: Cobblestone Inn & Suites Awaits! This review? It's gonna be less "polished travel brochure" and more "chat with your slightly-too-honest best friend." Prepare for ramblings, opinions, and probably a few grammatical errors. You've been warned. Let's go!
Accessibility: The Good, The Bad, and The…Stairwell of Doom?
Alright, let's get the important stuff outta the way first. Wheelchair accessible? Hopefully! I didn’t specifically wheel around the place, but they mention it, so fingers crossed. I'm a little unclear that it applies to everything. Elevator is mentioned! That's a solid start for anyone who has a mobility issue. The mention is good, but it doesn't sing accessibility. The devil, as they say, is in the details. I'd call ahead to verify specific room features, or ask about the pathway to the pool.
Internet Access: Gotta Stay Connected, Even When You Wanna Disconnect!
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! Seriously, a hotel that gets it. My biggest pet peeve is paying extra for what should be a basic service. I rely on internet, so this scores big points. Internet [LAN] … okay, old-school. I doubt I’d actually use this unless I was forced to, but hey, options are good, right? Wi-Fi in public areas. Useful. You know, for secretly stalking your ex while pretending to read a newspaper. Internet Services: I assume this covers the usual stuff like… I don’t know, setting up a printer? Probably.
Cleanliness and Safety: Touching the Sanitized Things! (Or Not?)
Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment. Okay, this is reassuring, especially post-pandemic. I'm a bit of a germaphobe (don’t judge!), and the thought of potential nasties lurking makes me shiver. This hotel seems to be taking things seriously. Room sanitization opt-out available? Smart. Seems like a good balance so guests can do what they prefer.
Cashless payment service. Great. Because who carries cash anymore? I swear, I'm often scrambling to find a single dollar bill.
Physical distancing of at least 1 meter. Alright, I understand the reasoning behind this. But, honestly, after two years of elbow bumps, I'm ready to hug a stranger. (Kidding! Mostly.)
Safe dining setup. This is vague. Is it tables far apart? Plexiglass? What does it mean?
Shared stationery removed. No more pens full of questionable germs!
Hot water linen and laundry washing. Deep sigh of relief.
First aid kit. Good to know it exists, but I hope I don't have to sniff it out.
Doctor/nurse on call. Always a plus.
Rooms Sanitized Between Stays. Good!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Feed Me, Seymour!
Okay, this is where things get interesting. Restaurants: Plural! Promising. A la carte in restaurant & Buffet in restaurant & Breakfast [buffet] & Breakfast service. Looks like options. Alternative meal arrangement for diners with dietary restrictions. That’s a solid plus! Coffee/tea in restaurant & Coffee shop. A must for me. I run on caffeine.
Breakfast takeaway service. Good for those mornings when you're running late and desperately need a croissant.
Poolside bar & Bar & Happy hour. Let the shenanigans (and the questionable poolside decisions) commence!
Asian breakfast & Asian cuisine in restaurant. Interesting. I always love trying something new.
Desserts in restaurant & Salad in restaurant & Soup in restaurant. Gotta have those options.
Bottle of water. Hydration is important!
Room service [24-hour]. Yes! All hail the glorious 24-hour room service!
Vegetarian restaurant & Western breakfast & Western cuisine in restaurant. All the bases covered.
Snack bar. Always a good idea for that 3 PM craving.
My Real-Life Food Experience: A Tale of Waffles and Regret (and maybe love?)
I'm going to be honest. I’m a sucker for a good buffet. One morning, fueled by a borderline-inappropriate amount of coffee (thanks, coffee shop!), I dove headfirst into the breakfast buffet. And I mean headfirst. I'm not proud of how many waffles I consumed.
Here’s the thing: The waffles LOOKED amazing. And they tasted… good. Not life-changing, but satisfying. Then, I saw the syrup. The syrup! It was in one of those industrial pump dispensers. You know the kind. I probably should have turned around. I didn't. Now, I’m not saying I ended up with a maple-flavored sugar coma, but let’s just say I spent the afternoon… horizontal. That's the cost of waffles.
Things to Do/Relax: Relaxation Station?
Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]. Okay, this is where the "Unbelievable Getaway" part might kick in. They're actually spoiling us!
Fitness center: I'm too lazy for this on vacation, but hey, it's there for the overachievers.
Pool with view: YES PLEASE! That's what I’m talking about. Hopefully, it's the kind of view that makes you want to sip a cocktail and contemplate the vastness of the universe.
Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: Now we’re talking. The trifecta of bliss. Definitely a must-do!
Massage: Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes! I'm thinking I'd spend the entire trip at the spa.
For the Kids: Keeping the Little Monsters Entertained (And Quiet!)
Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal. This is a huge plus for families.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Make a Difference
Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center. Wow, that’s a long list.
Contactless check-in/out. Score! Less time spent awkwardly standing around the front desk.
Daily housekeeping. Yay for fresh towels and a tidied room!
Concierge. Always helpful for tips and recommendations.
Dry cleaning & Laundry service. Especially helpful if you spill that waffle syrup on yourself.
Luggage storage. Essential.
Smoking area. (Raises eyebrow. I don't smoke, but good to know they have a designated zone.)
For the Kids - more detail, because if you have kids, then you'll appreciate it
The Babysitting service, honestly, should be a requirement for any hotel!
Getting Around: Transportation and Parking
Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking. Very comprehensive list, though I'm a little confused by the fact that Pets allowed unavailable.
Available in all rooms: Okay, here are some of the features that your rooms has: Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
My Room: A Sanctuary of Comfortable Chaos
I loved my room. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t like a picture from a magazine. But, it was impeccably clean, a great size, and had everything I needed, including a comfortable bed, a
Escape to St. Charles: Your Perfect Hampton Inn Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because you're about to experience my Cobblestone Inn & Suites, Linton, North Dakota, adventure. This isn't your perfectly curated Instagram feed; this is the REAL DEAL. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, questionable life choices, and potentially a raging caffeine dependency. Here we go…
Day 1: Arrival (or, "Where in God's Name Am I?")
- 1:00 PM: Touchdown in… well, Linton. The airport? Ha! Let's just say it's more "landing strip" than "international hub." It has one carousel. ONE. And my luggage, predictably, is fashionably late. I swear, I’m starting to think they’re just sending the suitcases to some random village somewhere, and then deciding, "Oh, right, North Dakota!"
- 1:30 PM: The rental car situation. Let's be real, if the car I rented was a movie, it would be a direct-to-DVD action flick from the early 90's. I’m now convinced it leaks every fluid known to man. Crossing my fingers I’ll make it to the Cobblestone before it catches fire, or runs out of gas.
- 2:30 PM: Check-in. Ah, the Cobblestone. Sigh. The receptionist is pleasant. They all are. In this place, even the mosquitoes are probably polite. The lobby is… beige. Utterly and completely beige. It's like a beige vortex where time and good taste go to die.
- 3:00 PM: My hotel room! Okay, it's clean. Thank God. The bed is… a bed. The television is thankfully working. I will be spending a lot of time with the television.
- 3:30 PM: The "Pool." Yep, they advertise one. I walk down the hallway, past a vending machine overflowing with chips that look like they've been there since the Reagan administration, and I reach the pool… Okay, this is when I start to question my life decisions. It's small. Really small. And the chlorine, oh boy, it stings my eyes from across the room. Plus, there's a kid splashing around using a plastic pool toy shaped like an alligator. Nope. I flee.
- 4:00 PM: Deep Dive into Netflix and despair. I guess the all-beige aesthetic is starting to grow on me.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at the local diner, "The Rusty Spoon." I order the special: a hamburger and fries. The burger is… well, it's a burger. The fries are undeniably salty. But the waitress, bless her heart, calls me "honey" and asks about my day. Suddenly, I'm not so utterly alone. Plus, they have amazing pie!
- 7:30 PM: Back to the beige abyss of my room. More Netflix. More reflecting. Maybe I'll make it thru the night.
- 9:00 PM: Oh, look, I ate the whole pie. What have I become.
Day 2: Exploring (or, "Why Did I Agree to This?")
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the Cobblestone. It's free! Free is good. The "continental breakfast" consists of sad-looking muffins, questionable coffee, and some sort of sugary cereal that probably violates several health codes. But hey, it’s fuel.
- 9:00 AM: Driving. Linton is… compact. The wind, though, is relentless. I drive around, I see a lot of fields, and I start to have an existential crisis.
- 10:00 AM: The local museum! God, I hate museums. But I'm determined to get the most out of my travel. The "museum" is actually a shack, with a collection of rusty farm equipment and a mannequin dressed in pioneer clothing. Okay, this is actually kinda charming. The curator, an elderly woman with a twinkle in her eye, tells me stories about the town's history. I end up spending nearly two hours talking to her. I learn about the struggles of the early settlers, the impact of the Dust Bowl, and the enduring spirit of this community. Actually, it's pretty awesome.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a cafe, "The Kernel." I devour a pastie that’s so delicious, I momentarily forget my existential dread.
- 1:30 PM: More driving. I try to find a scenic view, but it just looks like fields.
- 3:00 PM: Back to the Cobblestone. This time, I take a walk.
- 4:00 PM: Back to the room. More Netflix. The television is one of my dearest friends. The bed is comfortable. I’m officially settling in.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at the diner. Again.
- 8:00 PM: The pie is calling.
Day 3: Departure (or, "I Need Therapy, But First, Sleep.")
- 7:00 AM: Final breakfast…more questionable cereal. I can't decide if I'm excited to leave, or if a part of me will miss this place.
- 8:00 AM: Check-out. The receptionist wishes me safe travels. I'm probably never coming back here again, but I manage to crack a smile, too.
- 8:30 AM: I get in my death-trap of a rental car and drive away. The vastness of the plains feels less like a prison and more like a…vastness.
- 9:00 AM: The airport again. Ugh.
- 10:00 AM: Flight home.
Final Thoughts:
Linton, North Dakota, isn't the place you think you want to go. But it's also not the boring place you might expect it to be. It's a place of contradictions: lonely but friendly, plain but full of character, beige but strangely memorable. This trip wasn't perfect. It was messy. It was strange. It was real. And in its own weird little way, I kinda loved it. Maybe. Okay, I definitely learned a lot about pie. And myself. And maybe next time I’ll spring for a real pool. And possibly a therapist.
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Unbelievable Linton Getaway: Cobblestone Inn & Suites – You NEED to Know This Before You Go (Trust Me)
So, *Linton*, huh? What even *is* there?
Alright, so the Cobblestone Inn. Is it...clean? (That's my main concern.)
The pool! There *is* a pool, right? Don't leave me hanging.
Breakfast. Spill the beans. Is it… complimentary? Is it edible?
The rooms! What are they like? Are they...modern? Dated? Filled with ghosts? (I have a vivid imagination.)
Okay, but like... what *else* is there to DO in Linton? Besides stare out the window and contemplate your life choices?
Was there anything… *bad*? Any dealbreakers? Give it to me straight.


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